(17) The Ten Commandments...

Click to read Episode 16.

Dear Mr. Khanna,

Your latest communiqué was received with unanimous approval.

Kindly refrain from looking so astonished. As you correctly surmised, I am the Governing Council. Unanimity is one of the many administrative luxuries enjoyed by a committee of one.

I also congratulate you on discovering that even surrender can be mathematically minimal. 

That, Mr. Khanna, is the first incontrovertible evidence that your mathematical instincts have begun to coexist peacefully with your newly acquired lexical ambitions.

You requested a Decalogue.

After prolonged consultation with myself, exhaustive deliberation with myself, and unanimous ratification by myself, I am delighted to unveil the inaugural...

The Ten Commandments of the Tharoorgeoisie

I. Thou shalt never employ a short word while a magnificent alternative remains unemployed.

II. Thou shalt regard the semicolon not as punctuation, but as civilisation.

III. Thou shalt quote Latin with confidence, irrespective of whether anyone present requested it.

IV. Thou shalt never terminate a sentence prematurely when a subordinate clause still yearns for meaningful employment.

V. Thou shalt consult a dictionary often—but never apologetically.

VI. Thou shalt treat brevity as an occasional visitor rather than a permanent resident.

VII. Thou shalt never explain a simple idea without first making it intellectually presentable.

VIII. Thou shalt cultivate a vocabulary sufficiently formidable to cause autocorrect intermittent existential crises.

IX. Thou shalt graciously forgive readers who require refreshment intervals between paragraphs.

X. Above all, thou shalt remember that language is not merely a vehicle of communication; it is an exquisitely tailored evening suit in which thought attends the grand banquet of civilisation.

I eagerly await your mathematical proof that these commandments are simultaneously exhaustive, independent, and internally consistent.

Should you succeed, the Tharoorgeoisie may even consider establishing a Department of Leximath with you as the Head.

Its Governing Council, however, shall remain delightfully unchanged.

Yours, in lexical perpetuity,

Fussy Zaroor 

BTech ( IIT-M), PGDM (IIM-A)

Secretary — Ministry of Grandiloquance.

Gen Z reprentative, not on TV

A great Fan and a Mentee of Shashi Tharoor Saar.

Aspiring to be an Editor and world Class Author.

Chairperson- The Royal Society for the Prevention of Linguistic Malnutrition (RSPLM).

Founder, Governing Council, Admissions Committee, Ethics Commission, and Sole Voting Member: The Tharoorgeoisie.

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Legsy Notes.

🪳 THE COCKROACH EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE SPEAKS

We, the Cockroaches, are pleased to receive Pak Jan’s Apology. Her humble submission was placed before the Executive Committee of Cockroaches, where it was examined with the seriousness normally reserved for matters of national importance and of course leftover food.

After several hours of intense deliberation, wing-flapping and antenna-waving, the Committee has decided to forgive Pak Jan, taking into account her age and, more importantly, her open and unconditional apology to the Cockroachhood.

However, the CJP Doctrine is crystal clear: Someone Has to Resign.

After further deliberations, it was unanimously concluded that Pak Jan is not the real culprit. The actual architect, instigator and lexical accomplice is none other than Fussy Zaroor.

Accordingly, the Committee has passed its most important resolution:

Fussy Zaroor must apologise immediately—and resign immediately thereafter.

No resignation.
No Legsy Notes.

The Cockroachhood has spoken.

Long live the Cockroachhood! 🪳

— Legsy Suroor
Authorized Spokesroach of the Executive Committee of Cockroaches

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Foot Notes and Foot Prints of Pak Jan.

My late husband, fondly introduced and discussed as Parsi Uncle in Pankaj’s Tawa Sangeet, was a great scholar and a successful businessman.

I understand that he was equally comfortable in Tapori language too. Had he been around today, I am sure he would have happily given the present generation a lesson or two in the finer points of profanity! 😄

For the new generation, even Profanity has acquired a profitable twist!

They exclaim: “Profanity!? Nay, Profit!”

A new age of lexical enlightenment—or simply, a generation that knows how to turn every curse into currency! 😄

But there was a difference in those days. Profanity was meant to produce laughter, not hurt. It was used in a lighter vein, particularly in Bawa jokes, to amuse friends and add spice to conversations. It was never meant to be directed viciously at individuals or political opponents.

Those were different times—and perhaps, in some ways, gentler times.

Pankaj, like many other children of that generation, was almost like a little friend to us. And what is rather touching is that, even after so many years, these little friends somehow remain little friends in our hearts.

The world has changed enormously. The children grew up, the vocabulary became more adventurous, and Lexicomedy acquired a full-time licence! 😄

But memories have their own strange grammar. They don't conjugate with age.

And so, looking back with affection, I thought I should create one more little anagram for Pankaj Khanna:

Pankaj Khanna → Nanha Pankkaj

Perhaps that is the most appropriate anagram of all.

Because however many years may pass, some friendships refuse to grow up.

And some Nanha Pankkajs remain forever young in the Foot Notes—and Foot Prints—of our memories.

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Fussy Art Gallery

(Johannes Vermeer style: Girl with Ear ring and also the Girl with the Red Pencil:)

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