Lexicomedy

Click to read  Episode 9 Episode 10: Khanna Hazare Dear Ms Fussy Zaroor, Heartiest congratulations on your appointment as the Secretary , Ministry of Grandiloquance and Chairperson of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Linguistic Malnutrition (RSPLM) . I must confess that your meteoric rise through the Ministry of Grandiloquance has filled me with both admiration and inspiration. It redounds considerably to your credit, Fussy, that you have magnanimously consented to occupy the aforesaid two posts. Indeed, the posts themselves may now consider  singularly fortunate to be held by you. Being an IITian of formidable intellectual pedigree, you could, with consummate ease, have launched an entirely new political party. Had you done so, I too might have acquired the exalted status of a national celebrity:  K hanna Hazare . Anyway, as per your directives, I have appointed our sole Footnote Officer: Lexi Suroor , aka Legsy Suroor , a prominent Gen...

Web Series with a difference. For People Who Still Read. If your brain cells are currently begging for mercy after the daily barrage of Good Morning roses and lotuses, hyperactive reels, forwarded wisdom, unsolicited—but invariably very important—political/ religious sermons and  formulaic web series' ; you have finally found your sanctuary. Welcome ! This is a place for word-nerds, language lovers, compulsive punsters, anagram addicts , and anyone who occasionally feels that words are being wasted on serious things. Here, they will be put to completely unnecessary use. And that brings us to the rather misleading name of this enterprise:  A Web Series . The great advantage of this only kind of Web Series is that you can read it . You can sneak into it almost anywhere, anytime. While waiting at Jantar Mantar for your free Burger-Pizzas to be delivered. While getting bored in a mundane one hundred and fourteenth meeting in a year on educational reforms. While being ...

Click to read   Episode 8 Episode 9: Royal Society for the Prevention of Linguistic Malnutrition (RSPLM) Dear Mr. Pankaj Khanna, Thank you very much for providing your valuable inputs regarding the rapidly escalating resentment. Thanks to your alacrity, we have successfully saved our great Lexicocracy — or, as I have decided to call it, Fussy Lexicocracy. You may congratulate yourself later. As far as Saar is concerned, he has deliberately chosen to stay away from the protest, apparently in the hope of being appointed Patron of Lexicomedy. I have advised him to refrain from politics if he wishes to become our Patron. He is currently in a state of considerable dilemma, trying to figure out my proposed mathematical lemma. What an abalemma for him! I am afraid that the situation requires continued vigilance. We must remain watchful not only of the humans, but also of the cockroaches. The latter, in particular, appear to be acquiring dangerous levels of...

Click to read the Previous Episode 7 . Episode 8 : Resentment in Lexically Weaker Section. Dear Ms Fussy Zaroor, First and foremost, permit me to express my profound gratitude for your extraordinary generosity in choosing appreciation over ridicule. Such magnanimity, in this unfortunate age of effortless cynicism, deserves nothing short of a standing ovation — preferably followed by a brief committee meeting. My equally heartfelt felicitations are due to you for bequeathing to the English language the magnificent neologism “ Tharoorgeoisie .” I had fully intended to continue our discussion on the Tharoorgeoisie. Unfortunately, that discussion will have to remain pending until our next epistle, owing to a rather serious development. There is a rebellion brewing . I have reliably learnt that considerable resentment is now simmering among humans, canines, felines, cattle, cocks, and even our celebrated cockroaches. Apparently, all of them ha...

The previous Episode 6 Episode 7: A Bullock appropriating a Ferrari. Dear Mr. Pankaj Khanna,  Your epistle arrived not merely as correspondence, but as an avalanche of lexical pyrotechnics, leaving this humble Fussy Zaroor oscillating between admiration, amusement, and a pressing need for a larger dictionary. Permit me to register a vehement protest against your relentless self-deprecation. The individual who can orchestrate such magnificently self-mocking prose has already trespassed well beyond the frontiers of the so-called Cattle Class .  One does not accidentally stumble into 'sesquipedalian' splendour; one cultivates it with mischievous diligence and an alarming intimacy with the English lexicon. As for your intended elevation from the Cattle Class to the Baronial Class , I fear you have underestimated the gravity of the constitutional implications.  Such matters cannot be resolved by a solitary act of nomenclatural alchemy. They...

(Click to read Episode 5 .) Episode 6: Baronial Class. Dear Ms Fussy Zaroor , After receiving your missive, I found myself plunged into a state of profound introspection. Here I stand: a former street urchin of decidedly plebeian provenance, catapulted by the whimsical caprices of fate into the ostensibly civilised world, yet forever carrying the indelible passport of the so-called C attle Class .  And still, in moments of audacious reverie, I dare to fantasise about composing prose in impeccable Tharoorian English. What an exquisitely improbable Oxymoron. It is rather like expecting a bullock cart to compete in a Formula One Grand Prix, or inviting a village scarecrow to deliver the keynote address at a symposium on haute couture.  Yet hope, being gloriously impervious to ridicule, continues to whisper that one day even a rustic soul might coax a 'sesquipedalian' sonnet from the depths of an overworked dictionary. Behold the most prepostero...