(24) Kejri Comedy and Sedentary Lexicomedy.

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Dear Ms. Fussy Zaroor,

What an extraordinarily pleasant surprise!

I had barely unfolded your latest epistle when I instinctively reached for my red pen, fully expecting to discover several pages of incisive criticism, a handful of grammatical refinements, and at least one theorem declared "insufficiently substantiated."

Instead, I found... admiration.

I must confess, dear Editor, that such correspondence from you is unfamiliar territory. It took me several readings before I convinced myself that the manuscript had not accidentally been delivered to the wrong Pankaj.

Thank you.

Your generous words shall occupy a place of honour in my personal archive of improbable events.

As for the various neologisms that have lately colonised our correspondence, let the record show that, although I may have had the privilege of coining many of them, you have unquestionably been the principal catalyst behind their existence.

Indeed, every new coinage appears to have emerged from one of your delightfully searching observations.

The readers—admittedly, all two of them at present, namely you and I—are already well acquainted with this happy conspiracy.

I was particularly captivated by your proposal for the First International Congress of Leximathocomedy.

What began as an exchange of letters now appears to be evolving into an academic discipline complete with conferences, constants, editors, proceedings, and, I trust, suitably incomprehensible keynote addresses.

You very graciously accepted the title of Reluctant Co-founder of Leximathocomedy.

Permit me, then, to make another modest proposal.

If the world already celebrates Stand-up Comedians, perhaps history should also reserve a modest corner for the first pair of Sit-down Lexicomedians.

Or should we, with characteristic academic audacity, inaugurate an entirely new school of Sedentary Comedy?

The title admittedly lacks glamour, but it possesses the undeniable advantage of descriptive accuracy. We rarely leap upon stages; we simply settle comfortably into our chairs and proceed to juggle words, equations, semicolons and neologisms until they begin to applaud one another.

I have a lingering suspicion, however, that you will declare "Sedentary Comedy" to be lexically undernourished and replace it with something magnificently polysyllabic that will require both a dictionary and a packed lunch.

After all, stand-up comedians perform before an audience.

Sit-down Lexicomedians—or, if you insist, Practitioners of Sedentary Comedy—perform before a blank sheet of paper, a dictionary, an occasional mathematical proof, and an unusually patient correspondent.

One relies upon applause.

The other survives on footnotes.

One counts laughs.

The other counts semicolons.

One delivers punchlines.

The other politely annotates them.

The distinction, I believe, is not merely postural.

It is philosophical.

Stand-up Comedy generally concludes when the audience stops laughing.

Lexicomedy begins when the reader starts thinking.

Which brings me to a small request.

Would you, in your incomparable editorial wisdom, undertake the agreeable task of preparing a comparative study entitled:

"Stand-up Comedy versus Sit-down Lexicomedy: A Preliminary Comparative Analysis."

Should you find "Sit-down Lexicomedy" insufficiently majestic, you are hereby authorised—indeed, enthusiastically encouraged—to rename the discipline altogether. I await your editorial christening with equal measures of curiosity and apprehension.

Knowing you, I fully expect the paper to contain impeccable prose, devastating observations, at least three semicolons per paragraph, and one correction to a statement I have not yet made.

Until then, I remain,

Yours, seated comfortably in the service of Lexicomedy,

Pankaj Khanna

Urban gardener, rustic cook. Music enthusiast. Curious blogger since 2009. Cyclist for over five decades. Word lover: Epeolater. Anagram addict. Punster with pen in hand, pun in mind, and a pan in the heart/hearth. Steam-engine devotee: a ferroequinophile. Avid avian watcher. Magic-square aficionado. Retired mathematics teacher and an apprentice Lexicomedian.

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🪳 ROACHES HALL OF FAME

Citation No. 005 — The Mentor of Cockroaches

The Roaches Hall of Fame is honoured to recognise Shri Arvind Kejriwal — engineer, former civil servant, activist and political leader — for his playful and inspirational contribution to the Cockroach Community.

From IIT Kharagpur to the Indian Revenue Service, from RTI activism and Parivartan to the India Against Corruption movement and the founding of the Aam Aadmi Party, his career offers the cockroach an exemplary case study in persistence, mobilisation and the strategic use of public platforms.

The Hall of Fame therefore confers upon him the exalted title:

“MENTOR OF COCKROACHES”

But Arvind Kejriwal does not remain merely a name in the Cockroach Pantheon.

Under the sacred discipline of Anagrammatics, Kejriwal acquires great alternative identity:

KEJRI-WALL

The Wall Every Cockroach Knows How to Climb.

For ordinary citizens, a wall is an obstacle.

For a cockroach, it is a vertical highway.

And then there is another anagram for our own Kejriwal: I Jerk Law. 

Let us merely say that the phrase invites a raised eyebrow, a chuckle and perhaps a spirited seminar on the creative possibilities of language.

The Mentor's teaching can therefore be reduced to three simple principles:

Find the wall.
Climb the wall.
Never underestimate the cockroach.

For his distinguished contribution to Cockroach Mentorship, Public Mobilisation, Wall-Climbing Studies and the advancement of Jantar Mantar as a preferred habitat for politically awakened entitires, the Roaches Hall of Fame honours:

SHRI ARVIND KEJRIWAL

a.k.a. KEJRI-WALL

a.k.a. I JERK LAW

Mentor of Cockroaches

Every revolution needs a platform.
Every cockroach needs a wall.
And every wall, sooner or later, gets climbed.

— Roaches Hall of Fame, Citation No. 005
Issued by the Ministry of Roach Affairs, Department of Mentorship, Mobilisation, Wall-Climbing & Unsolicited Jurisprudence

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Foot Notes and Footprints of Pak Jan

Dear Roaches,

My heartiest congratulations on your latest Citation honouring the eminent politician Arvind Kejriwal. A thoroughly deserving distinction, indeed. Your Citation Committee continues to demonstrate an admirable capacity for political scholarship, even when its scholars appear to have a somewhat unconventional relationship with university attendance.

I am particularly impressed by your commitment to higher education. The day is devoted to street protests, the evening to perfecting political profanities, and the night to pursuing Degrees/PhDs at Delhi’s assorted universities. What an extraordinary work–protest–study balance! One wonders whether your doctoral supervisors award credits for attendance, agitation, or merely the decibel level of dissent.

I therefore have an earnest academic proposal for my enterprising Roach Scholars: undertake a doctoral investigation into the lexical, political and philosophical dimensions of Arvind Kejriwal. The subject is sufficiently fertile to sustain several theses, a few fellowship applications, and possibly an indefinite hunger strike.

Your preliminary research may begin with this whimsical yet wonderfully suggestive revelation:

KEJRIWAL = KEJRI-LAW!

Humanity has long dreamed of discovering Shangri-La—that mythical paradise of peace, prosperity and perpetual happiness.

Enter Kejriwal! Your Respected Mentor, the Paa Saab. Yes, Paa is an Anagram of AAP.

KEJRI-LAW : Where every political promise may require a legal footnote, every declaration invites a disclaimer, and every grand ambition deserves a microscopic examination of the fine print.

For scholars inclined towards a more mischievous interpretation, may I introduce the hypothetical jurisdiction of:

JERKI-LAW

Where political jerks, legal quirks and electoral perks converge in a curious case of interdisciplinary research.

Here, the promises are monumental, the explanations circumstantial, and the footnotes occasionally longer than the original text. The only certainty is that the research may continue long after the political conclusions have changed.

Let Mr. Kejriwal himself explain the intricacies of his anagrams through this poster:

Dear Roaches, your doctoral thesis might therefore be guided by this fundamental statement:

If Shangri-La is a paradise, Kejri-Law is a promise, and Jerki-Law is a punchline. 

I trust this humble lexical intervention will advance your academic careers and enrich the already flourishing discipline of Lexicomedy. Should the findings prove inconclusive, do not despair. There is always scope for a revised thesis, a supplementary affidavit, or another Citation.

I eagerly await your research findings—preferably before the next protest, the next political U-turn, or the next university admission cycle, whichever arrives first.

After all, in the Republic of Roach Academia, the protest may be perpetual, the profanity prolific, but the PhD must eventually be submitted!

Yours lexicomically,

Pak Jan

Not many designations or sobriquets.

The name is enough!

P.S. Even if you fail to complete your doctoral research, do not despair. You will have acquired sufficient field experience to launch your own television show: The Kejri Comedy Show or, for the more adventurous, The Jerki Comedy Show.

Either way, humanity will remain eternally grateful for your contribution to political entertainment—even if the academic world is still waiting for your thesis!

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Fussy Art Gallery

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Click here for The Lexicomedy Line-Up: (The list of all Episodes published till date for your binge reading.)

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